I just dont know what to do anymore. So much happening. I got so depressed. I still am. I just wanna fade away. Its all too hard to deal with. Maybe if i go away for a while things will be better when i come back. I wanna disappear. Idk how long. Just as long as i can. I isolate myself and sleep alot. Which i like but my momma doesnt. She doesnt want me to be put on anti-depressants. I just hope i get better soon....
My mood: extremely depressed
I sometimes find that i hate my life and want to live in someone elses shoes. I used to cut because of the feeling of pain i had inside me. I thought it would help. Wrong! It made everything worse. Yet its still a thought like almost everytime something hard happens or comes up. I feel alone. I lock myself away. I hide the sadness and tell people im okay. The pain is overwhelming and then i cut. And then i regret it. I haven't cut in a little while now, which is great. But the pain still gets overwhelming, who can i trust to talk to? I dont know, ive lost the ability to trust, even myself. So i bottle it up. Eventually i explode and either cut or blurt it out to one of my friends. I hate myself for my mistakes. But guess what everyone. The pain and the mistake, its all a part of life and i just need to hold myself together untill it all fades away. I break and then i pick up the peices and keep walking, trying to put my heart back together on my own. Im broken right now, but i promise you, ill have myself put back together soon enough. Without anyones help! Because thats a part of life.
Previous PostsDepressed, posted December 15th, 2012
Life, posted May 14th, 2012, 3 comments
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